Let’s Not Sugarcoat It

Original image via stevendepolo

There’s been a lot of talk swirling around the blogosphere about the authenticity of blogging and how we all only see a curated version of a blogger’s life, not all the real nitty gritty. Whether it’s because we feel we always have to present a positive, shiny face and are afraid of people’s reactions/crossing the TMI line/violating the privacy of our loved ones, the fact is that there are big chunks of our lives that aren’t shared online. It’s a difficult balance to strike. You want to be yourself and connect with readers, but you don’t want to overshare or come off as a whiner.

I know I’m no different in this regard. There are some things that, for me, are too private to share. And some things that aren’t my right to share. And still others that just plain aren’t anyone’s business who isn’t directly involved already. But, at the same time there’s plenty about myself/my life that I just haven’t shared even though there’s no real barrier to doing so. So today I thought I’d lay some of that nitty gritty bare. Some of it is on the serious side, some not so much, but here it is:

  • Dirty dishes are the bane of my existence. I just can’t keep up. There are always dishes in the sink. I don’t know how this happens since we only have two people in the house, but it’s ridiculous.
  • My job as a freelancer is great in lifestyle perks, but pretty sucky on the finances side of things. Even though I have steady work and do get paid what I’m worth, the schedule of when those paychecks arrive is completely random and unpredictable. This results in sometimes having less than $100 in my bank account even though I have a few thousand dollars worth of paychecks out in the nether somewhere. And this is always assuming that clients will pay in a timely manner once invoiced, which is sadly not always the case. It’s incredibly stressful. It is probably the thing that stresses me out most.
  • If you’ve been a reader for awhile, you’ll likely have heard me talk about my mom and sisters, and may be wondering why I never mention my dad. Long story short, he has been dead since I was 16. It was a suicide. It was pretty devastating at the time, but it’s so long ago now it doesn’t bother me too much to talk about it. It generally makes other people uncomfortable to talk about, though, so I usually don’t.
  • I cuss a LOT. I generally keep this out of my writing, but if you know me in real life, you will hear some f-bombs fly if a) I’m driving, b) I screw something up I’m working on, c) I sustain some sort of injury, or d) something incredibly surprising/disappointing/upsetting happens.
  • Ian and I do have fights. Not often, thank goodness, and they are always talked out within one day, but they are always emotionally draining.
  • I love living in Austin/Round Rock, but sometimes I really miss my family. My mom is up in Ohio and my sisters are in South Carolina, so I can’t just up and go visit them at a whim. When my younger sister was in Air Force training, she was down in San Antonio (only an hour+half away) and that was AWESOME. But now she’s far away again, and I don’t really have an idea when I’ll see her next. I just saw my mom last month, which was great, and will get to see her at Thanksgiving, but that much face time is rare.
  • I am kind of a clutter magnet. Clutter producer? Not sure what the correct term is, but suffice it to say my desk, worktable, kitchen table, coffee table, dresser, bathroom counter, etc. are generally pretty clutter-ific. Organized surface areas are not my thing.
  • I was lucky enough to escape having any student loans (hurray full ride scholarship!) but I do have credit card debt, a car loan to pay off (almost done!), and the occasional payment plan for medical expenses (currently, the dentist). I’m slowly working on being debt free (especially the credit cards), but the freelance pay schedule mentioned above can make that difficult. I’ll make progress, and then I’ll hit a dry spell with paychecks, and the progress evaporates because, hey, I need things like groceries and gas in my car. Le sigh.
  • I have a half-dozen stories and a screenplay I’ve started to write and then just let sit there because I get to a certain point and think “blah, is this even any good? or in any way original?” and completely psyche myself out about whether it’s even worth finishing. I am definitely my own worst critic.
  • I probably don’t walk Sienna as often as I should, but she is just a inexhaustible ball of energy and some days I’m just too tired to deal with her pulling me around the neighborhood.
  • Ian and I will have kids eventually (we’ve discussed, and we want to get married first). And I’m excited about that, and we have names picked out and everything. But the actual process of childbirth freaks me out. And it only gets worse the older I get because you hear so much about how it gets harder to have children the older you get. I am going to be 28 next month. So even if Ian proposed like, tomorrow, we’d still have to plan the wedding, get married, and you know, 9 months of pregnancy assuming we conceived immediately, so we’re talking I’ll already be 30 by the time I have kids! At least. The thought is a bit anxiety-making, not going to lie.
  • There are some bloggers I really want to be friends with, but I’m not sure how to take it beyond commenting on their posts and tweeting. I’m awkward when first meeting people and terrible at small talk. And even after I get to know someone, I’m not super talkative in person; I’m much more of a listener. That said, internet chat is my thing. I don’t know why, but I find it so much easier to express myself in writing than I do on the phone or even in person. I think because the delay in online chatting gives me time to think and formulate a coherent response, instead of having to respond immediately on the spot. *shrug* So yeah, I’m on Google Chat most of the day while I’m working. Feel free to chat me up! (or maybe I’ll work up my nerve and message you and just hope I don’t come off like a blog stalker).
  • I am a Mac girl, through and through. The only reason I even have Windows (set up as a virtual drive on my Mac, thank you) is to use MS Money, because I haven’t found a replacement that is up to par. Macs are just so much cleaner!
  • I like shopping probably more than I should.
  • There is no way you will ever get me to give up caffeine/soda, carbs, sugar, romance novels, or my DVR.

So, that’s that. Ran a little longer than I planned, but oh well.

Also, Angie tagged me in fun new little meme, so here are my answers for that! You are just getting an overload of me today.

5 Fabulous Moments in My Life

  1. The day I got the call from my first choice college telling me I’d won the full ride scholarship.
  2. Doing a study abroad in Australia.
  3. The day I met Ian.
  4. The day I had my first sale in my Etsy shop that wasn’t to family.
  5. The day Ian and I said I love you for the first time.

5 Things I Love

  1. Ian, my mom, my sisters, and Sienna.
  2. Working from home.
  3. The abundance of sunny days in Austin.
  4. Stories with really well-written characters.
  5. Making things (art, food, stories, what have you.)

5 Things I Hate

  1. People who joke about rape, STDs, suicide, hate crimes, etc. These things are not funny, and acting like they are just compounds the problem.
  2. Idiot drivers. Nothing can make me insta-rage more than idiot drivers who almost kill me. (For the record, I’m a decent driver – no tickets ever, and the only ‘accident’ I’ve been in was when I was 16 and backed into someone in the school parking lot).
  3. Clients who don’t pay in a timely manner. Also, creating an awesome design, having to turn it over to the client for their use, and then seeing them completely wreck it (this is mostly with web designs where they want to manage it themselves but don’t really know how).
  4. The fact that we still have to fight for women to have rights to their own bodies, and homosexuals to have the right to marry the person they love. RIDICULOUS.
  5. People who whose religion as an excuse for judging the lives of others, bigotry, hate and violence.

Kudos if you made it this far. Now, enough about me, tell me something about you!

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